There was a time when my dad came to mom’s house accompanied by grand dad who did all the talking. He made mom stand, sit, sing and answer questions on - her education, hobbies and interests. All this was done after they were served a healthy helping of ‘tiffin’ allegedly made by mom.
Only after granddad was fully satisfied, did my dad get a chance to speak up and ask for two minutes alone with mom. Their two minutes was spent in the garden, in front of everybody’s eyes. Thankfully out of ear shot.
All dad asked was ‘Are you ready for a shared responsibility called marriage’? At that time dad was a clerk in a private bank and mom was a highly paid government servant. Dads only condition was mom would work till she thought fit.
Dad tells me back then, arranged marriages were dependent on that one question either the boy or the girl asked and the reply they got.
Mom was the only girl dad saw and agreed on. Today they have been happily married for over 30 years.
As a 21st century generation we take pride in our superior communication skills. But when it comes to an important decision like marriage, we ask a whole lot of questions but seldom the right one.
Do you own a house in Bangalore?
Are you into coding or into ERP and application development?
What are the chances of your project moving on-site?
It sounds more like a job interview than a chat for determining compatibility. And as the hapless boy hams to answer this barrage of questions from the girl, her parents wear a look of silent admiration.
If at all the boy makes through the first round, then comes the compatibility round. Else the boy and his family will have to be satisfied with only ‘tiffin’ allegedly made by the girl and beat a hasty retreat.
At least something has not changed!
